Navigating children through the divorce process

Children are at the top of all the casualties that emerge from the divorce process. Left out of their parent’s decisions, they are left facing an uncertain future where one household splits into two.

Parents must focus on their best interests when the future is anything but certain to alleviate the sting of marital dissolution. That starts with pursuing mediation instead of contentious and costly litigation.

Giving kids a voice

When it comes to child custody, kids are entitled to a voice when it comes to the future. While they cannot participate in the mediation room or have any decision-making power, the mediator can ensure that their needs are top-of-mind during negotiations.

The process is twofold and includes the following:

• Child-focused mediation – The process prioritizes the needs of offspring over their parents. While children are not directly involved, the conversations revolve around them and ensure parents focus on the impact of their marriage ending. The mediator also secures and shares information from outside sources on what is best for them.
• Child-inclusive mediation – Methods start with a child specialist conducting interviews with the children on two occasions with both parents, focusing on the relationship dynamics, how it impacts them, and the challenges of adjustments. Parents are also interviewed on how they can achieve the needs of their children and subsequently communicate their findings. Methods for child-inclusive mediation are based on age and maturity.

Sadly, many parents take the path of sparing children from discussing the significant changes in life. While intimate details are not appropriate, helping them cope by communicating how life changes and its effects on them.